[ it's the type of fear that eats at you, almost consuming you. how that report will finish, how'll it end, where it may likely lead to.
her hand loosens around herself to rub at her eyes, trying to rid of the tears blurring her vision. it takes her a moment to respond. trying to steady her trembling, her shaky breathing, to try and listen to clarte's words. ]
..Your answer? [ ... ] What... is it that, you live for...? What gives your life.. meaning?
... You see, Meteion, I was actually created as just a prototype. From the day I was born, I was slated to be discarded of, once research for the perfected vessel was underway. In that regard, the only meaning to my life was the act of creating me, not anything within my existence itself.
[...]
I've lost most of my memories since then, so I don't remember everything about my past. I can only know from the glimpses of my old "self" that I have—how "I" felt. I know that I spent my life waiting to die, deprived of any reason to live.
[ her brows furrow, lips dipping into a deeper frown to hear that they were meant to be discarded.. it is the kind of existence that would bring pain to Hermes. to hear that a life created can be tossed aside so easily.
her wings droop, yet she remains quiet, hanging on each of their words. spent their life waiting to die... it hurts to hear.
( how many times have they heard that? life wishing to merely die. lives wanting to look for an end.)
... Someone reached out her hand to me. The girl in my memory, who sung the song, though this goes back to when we met many years ago. She saw something in me worth saving, when no one else did, and so I decided to devote my life to her.
[...]
Our story has not always been a happy one. She and I have both died in different ways, and our deaths undone. I... have been the same as what you saw in my memory. Menas, who brought the end times upon an entire planet.
[that's the irony of this. the tragedies that haunt meteion... clarte themself has been the cause of one such like them. countless people, dead by their hands.]
That is an unforgivable sin I cannot take back—and one I wouldn't, either. But even as someone who was once the embodiment of death and destruction... at the very least, I was then able to use my life to save another land and give them hope.
And that is the meaning of my life, chosen by my will. Though I'm someone who has been corrupted by the darkness, and who has felt despair—I want to be a light for others. As long as I continue to live, I will try.
[the power to destroy, the power to save. both reside within them; it all depends on what they use it for.]
[ she grows quiet, listening, eyes even closing as though to focus more on their words. any emotions... feelings, she can draw from their tone. undone... creatures of Elpis, they too were undone of their aether. ridding them of their lives. but to.. die and undo death?
never has she heard of such a concept before... there were stars where they achieved paradise, only to wish for death, where they achieved immortality.. and wish for death. every star.. had lost their hope.
and here, was Clarte who caused destruction only to then save another. but they've... they've always been strong, in her eyes. Meteion, she... she doesn't have that kind of strength. it's crumbling, falling apart. day by day. if she had a choice... she would protect everyone. however, her shared consciousness... ]
I think, while here... you've always been a light for others. I can.. see that, from the way others look to you. Speak with you.
[ there is no doubt that, clarte is that light for them. that festering despair... does not believe. but Meteion, as herself, does. ]
Thank you, Meteion. [...] There are always two sides. Where hope exists, so will despair. Not everything—or everyone— can be saved.
It must—be so painful for you, who has to experience the ruin of life over time, to see the end again and again. But I hope you can see the smaller picture as well, Meteion, the way that those with finite lives do. Perhaps nothing will last forever, but...
[they grip her hands.]
A flower does not think of its death. It simply tries to bloom and bring beauty to its surroundings. To give more than it takes, as it produces seeds for the future. Maybe one day, there will be a time those seeds die out, but it lives without knowledge of that. It just thrives during the life it knows of, and it is happy.
[ she is only one, against millions. it's like having a single small lone candle lit in a large dark room. it's only a matter of time until the darkness extinguishes that light out.
she listens, and she does take those words to heart, wants to hold onto it so tightly to that hope but. the last thing she has felt, the thing that keeps swimming in the back of her mind is.
that pain, that hatred, that suffering of her sisters. the fate of all those stars... the fate of, this star, too. ]
If, something were to happen... with me, please... please don't.. don't let them hurt.
[ tears fall at those words. she knows there will never be without pain,because there is more to this than that-- so why.. why are they so convinced..? why can they not see it, the way that Clarte does, the way she too sees it? ]
there are some things that cannot be stopped. perhaps meteion cannot stop these feelings flooding into her, any more than clarte could prevent themself from becoming uranus menas once that path had been set.
all clarte can do is wrap meteion into an embrace. that's not a promise they can make to her, so they won't.]
[ were she alone, those feelings, those thoughts- they would surely crush her. snuff out that last bit of hope but-- clarte's words are not for naught. It just thrives during the life it knows of, and it is happy. it's a lot to take, given that she has avoided this memory since her arrival here but... so far, other than the memory, she has not connected to that shared conscious. has not.. felt her sisters' pain since, their suffering.
and in this very moment, what she does have is.. clarte's acceptance, their gentle and kind approach, it's a step. it's a hand that's been extended out to her, full of understanding, and she wants to take hold of it. wants to try for it. try for them.
so, she eases in that embrace, taking a breath, trying to calm down and focus on their words. their feelings. she nods after a moment, wings fluttering as she focuses on their voice. ]
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her hand loosens around herself to rub at her eyes, trying to rid of the tears blurring her vision. it takes her a moment to respond. trying to steady her trembling, her shaky breathing, to try and listen to clarte's words. ]
..Your answer? [ ... ] What... is it that, you live for...? What gives your life.. meaning?
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... You see, Meteion, I was actually created as just a prototype. From the day I was born, I was slated to be discarded of, once research for the perfected vessel was underway. In that regard, the only meaning to my life was the act of creating me, not anything within my existence itself.
[...]
I've lost most of my memories since then, so I don't remember everything about my past. I can only know from the glimpses of my old "self" that I have—how "I" felt. I know that I spent my life waiting to die, deprived of any reason to live.
[and yet—
with a smile,]
But against all odds, I did find one.
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her wings droop, yet she remains quiet, hanging on each of their words. spent their life waiting to die... it hurts to hear.
( how many times have they heard that? life wishing to merely die. lives wanting to look for an end.)
but they... ] ..You did?
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[...]
Our story has not always been a happy one. She and I have both died in different ways, and our deaths undone. I... have been the same as what you saw in my memory. Menas, who brought the end times upon an entire planet.
[that's the irony of this. the tragedies that haunt meteion... clarte themself has been the cause of one such like them. countless people, dead by their hands.]
That is an unforgivable sin I cannot take back—and one I wouldn't, either. But even as someone who was once the embodiment of death and destruction... at the very least, I was then able to use my life to save another land and give them hope.
And that is the meaning of my life, chosen by my will. Though I'm someone who has been corrupted by the darkness, and who has felt despair—I want to be a light for others. As long as I continue to live, I will try.
[the power to destroy, the power to save. both reside within them; it all depends on what they use it for.]
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never has she heard of such a concept before... there were stars where they achieved paradise, only to wish for death, where they achieved immortality.. and wish for death. every star.. had lost their hope.
and here, was Clarte who caused destruction only to then save another. but they've... they've always been strong, in her eyes. Meteion, she... she doesn't have that kind of strength. it's crumbling, falling apart. day by day. if she had a choice... she would protect everyone. however, her shared consciousness... ]
I think, while here... you've always been a light for others. I can.. see that, from the way others look to you. Speak with you.
[ there is no doubt that, clarte is that light for them. that festering despair... does not believe. but Meteion, as herself, does. ]
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Thank you, Meteion. [...] There are always two sides. Where hope exists, so will despair. Not everything—or everyone— can be saved.
It must—be so painful for you, who has to experience the ruin of life over time, to see the end again and again. But I hope you can see the smaller picture as well, Meteion, the way that those with finite lives do. Perhaps nothing will last forever, but...
[they grip her hands.]
A flower does not think of its death. It simply tries to bloom and bring beauty to its surroundings. To give more than it takes, as it produces seeds for the future. Maybe one day, there will be a time those seeds die out, but it lives without knowledge of that. It just thrives during the life it knows of, and it is happy.
no subject
[ she says in an almost whisper. ]
The way that.. they hurt... hate.
[ she is only one, against millions. it's like having a single small lone candle lit in a large dark room. it's only a matter of time until the darkness extinguishes that light out.
she listens, and she does take those words to heart, wants to hold onto it so tightly to that hope but. the last thing she has felt, the thing that keeps swimming in the back of her mind is.
that pain, that hatred, that suffering of her sisters. the fate of all those stars... the fate of, this star, too. ]
If, something were to happen... with me, please... please don't.. don't let them hurt.
[ tears fall at those words. she knows there will never be without pain,because there is more to this than that-- so why.. why are they so convinced..? why can they not see it, the way that Clarte does, the way she too sees it? ]
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there are some things that cannot be stopped. perhaps meteion cannot stop these feelings flooding into her, any more than clarte could prevent themself from becoming uranus menas once that path had been set.
all clarte can do is wrap meteion into an embrace. that's not a promise they can make to her, so they won't.]
... I'm here, Meteion. Just listen to my voice.
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and in this very moment, what she does have is.. clarte's acceptance, their gentle and kind approach, it's a step. it's a hand that's been extended out to her, full of understanding, and she wants to take hold of it. wants to try for it. try for them.
so, she eases in that embrace, taking a breath, trying to calm down and focus on their words. their feelings. she nods after a moment, wings fluttering as she focuses on their voice. ]
...Okay.
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Your kindness is your pain, Meteion, but it is also your strength. It all depends on what you use it for.
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[ feels like only the end could satisfy them. ] If they could.. just meet you, and everyone here... [ maybe they'd be able to see. ]
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So... I'll try! [ her report. ]
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